


Broken II

by unacaritafeliz



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Also Nursey and Foxtrot are tactile as HELL, Both WTF and nurseydex are implied unrequited, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Foxtrot and Nursey as BFFs, Friendship, Gen, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Platonic Cuddling, The heartache of trying to comfort the boys you love when they don't love you back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 06:05:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19126108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unacaritafeliz/pseuds/unacaritafeliz
Summary: "Foxy!" Nursey says, brightly. "I've been looking for you all day. Where have you been?"Foxtrot doesn't really want to tell him the truth, that she's been avoiding everyone all day because she's a shitty person, so she doesn't reply. Instead she crawls into the bottom bunk, settling between Nursey and the wall, her face buried in Nursey's comforter just next to his left thigh. She's fully aware that she's being dramatic but, in her defense, Nursey is dramatic all the damn time - it's time that he dealt with her dramatics for a change.[What do you do when you're in love with your two best friends and they're not in love with you? If you're Foxtrot, you hide in Nursey's room.]





	Broken II

Foxtrot sprints from the start of Jason street into the Haus and up the stairs. It's not that she actually expects Connor or Tony to actually be at the Haus - not only are they both in class right now, but they've both been avoiding the Haus like the plague recently - but there's still a nonzero chance they'll see her there and she just does not want to deal with either of them right now.

Which, she acknowledges as she slides to a stop in front of Nursey's bedroom door, is kind of shitty of her. But she's working on it. That's the whole reason she's here, actually; so that she can get over this and stop being such a shitty best friend.

She takes a deep breath and knocks.

"It's open," Nursey calls from inside.

Foxtrot pushes open the door, stepping into the room and shutting it behind her. Nursey's wrapped up in the bottom bunk; his back against the headboard and his long legs stretched out in front of him. He's got his laptop balanced on his thighs. The fingers of his good hand are still resting on the keys, but he's looking up at her with the biggest grin on his face. Foxtrot feels her heartbeat calms down just the tiniest bit.

"Foxy!" Nursey says, brightly. "I've been looking for you all day. Where have you been?"

Foxtrot doesn't really want to tell him the truth, that she's been avoiding everyone all day because she's a shitty person, so she doesn't reply. Instead she crawls into the bottom bunk, settling between Nursey and the wall, her face buried in Nursey's comforter just next to his left thigh. She's fully aware that she's being dramatic but, in her defense, Nursey is dramatic all the damn time - it's time that he dealt with her dramatics for a change.

"Oh," Nursey says, softly. The bed shifts briefly, and then Nursey's good hand is on her shoulder, coaxing her closer to him. She rests her head on his thigh - he's evidently moved his laptop to allow her space - with her face still buried in his comforter. Nursey's hand moves up to cradle the back of her head. "What's wrong, Mamita?"

Foxtrot shifts her head just far enough that her voice doesn't get muffled in Nursey's comforter when she speaks. "Boys suck," she declares, resignedly.

Nursey huffs out a laugh. "Denice, my love," he says. "That is a whole-ass mood."

Foxtrot hums softly as she resettles herself on top of him. Honestly, she doesn't really know that much about Nursey's love life, except for the fact he's comfortably bi. She's pretty sure he's got some unfinished business with his high school boyfriend and she strongly suspects he might be harbouring some twisted and ill-advised feelings about Dex - though Lord knows Nursey deserves better than the bullshit Dex has been putting him through recently - but she's never known Nursey to be with anyone and she's never ever heard him talk about any of it. She really should ask him about it sometime.

When her own romantic life wasn't threatening to fall apart.

"Are you gonna tell me what happened?" Nursey asks, gently.

And like, she is going to tell him. The whole reason she came to the Haus was to tell him about it, to get it off of her chest. But the thing is - it's not an easy thing to tell him, because it starts with her having to admit, out loud, to another person, that she's in love with two people.

It's not that she's ashamed of it, or confused. She's done all the reading about polyamory, and she understands and accepts all of her own feelings, and she knows that Nursey would never, ever judge her for it, but she's never said it out loud before and she's scared, even though she knows she shouldn't be.

She shifts so that she can sit cross legged in Nursey's bed. It has the unintended, and unwanted, side-effect of dislodging his hand from her hair, but she knows that this is something she can't just mumble into Nursey's leg; she needs to face him to say this. She takes his good hand in both of hers, slowly stroking her thumb along his skin.

"I, uh..." she starts, more to their joint hands that to Nursey. She stops, takes a deep breath, and forces herself to look into Nursey's far too earnest green eyes. "The first thing you need to know about this is that I like Tango. You know, romantically."

"Okay," Nursey says. The corner of his mouth quirks into a smirk. His eyes are sparkling with barely restrained mirth. He's clearly very excited for her.

Foxtrot really wishes that was all she had to tell him.

"The second thing you need to know is that I... uh..." She has to take a break, suck in a deep breath and force some air into her lungs, before she continues. "I like Whiskey too. In the same way. At the same time."

"Okay," Nursey repeats.

A little bit of Nursey's happiness fades from his eyes, but his face is open and warm - a little pitying, but not disgusted, not judgemental and not even the tiniest bit surprised.

She drops his hand.

This fucker already fucking knew everything she's just told him, didn't he? He totally knew, and was probably just waiting for her to bring it up because he's an asshole who actually respects her privacy or whatever.

"Derek, what the fuck?" she says, her voice almost a whine as she slouches down to bury her face in his sweater. "How long have you known?"

"Since you made those matching sweaters for the three of you," Nursey says, wrapping an arm around her. "I thought, 'why wouldn't my dear, beloved Foxtrot make a sweater for me, Derek Malik Nurse, her best friend, the light of her life and the reason she's even on this godforsaken team to begin with?' And it came to me - obviously she's mad in love with Whiskey and Tango and is trying to win their favour through her mad crochet skills."

Foxtrot rolls her eyes. Nursey is ridiculous but it's kind of exactly what she needs right now. She can already feel the fear draining from her body, making it easier to open her heart up to him.

"I gave you a sweater like two days later, asshole," she grumbles, pulling away from him.

"A poor attempt at deflection," Nursey says, with a wink. "Nah, but for real, I didn't ever really know. I just kind of thought.... I mean, sometimes you look at them like they're your everything. It's actually kinda cute."

Foxtrot groans, pulling away from Nursey and crossing her arms protectively across her chest. God. Having feelings is the worst. She's never been so embarrassed in her life.

"Great," she says, glaring at her own arms. "So everyone knows I'm completely in love with Connor and Tony. That's really very great; amazing, in fact."

It's not until the words are out of her mouth that she realises she used the L word. This is the absolute worst. She wants to die.

"Woah, woah, woah, Foxy, chill," Nursey says, and, wow, Poindexter is actually right about something because that doesn't help at all. "I don't think anyone else knows. Everyone else is far too focused on the fact that you're too good for any human on the planet to expect you to have feelings for those two losers. And like, I can pretty much guarantee that Tango and Whiskey don't know."

'Yeah, they definitely don't know," Foxtrot mutters. "That's the reason this sucks so much."

Nursey frowns, and pulls her into his arms. She goes without protest.

"Is this about Whiskey and his Chad?" he asks.

"I mean, kind of?" she says. "Whiskey doesn't want me," her voice wavers but it doesn't break, because it can't break, because that would be so pointless. It wouldn't change anything, and it wouldn't help Whiskey at all. "And that's fine, honestly it is, I just want him to be happy, but he's not happy because he wasn't ready to come out, he just felt forced to because of the party, and I'm his friend and I need to be there for him but I'm just so fucking selfish!"

And yeah, maybe she did break, just a little bit. She turns her head so Nursey can't see her cry. She knows she's not fooling him at all, but it helps.

"First of all, Whiskey's a fucking dumbass for dating a Lax bro," says Nursey, softly.

She laughs, bitterly. "He's really not," she says, wiping her eyes and looking back at him. "Chad L. isn't that bad. He's good for Connor, I think. Y'all are just mean."

"Look, I'm trying to be objective about this, but like Shitty's basically been my big brother for six and a half years, man," Nursey says. "At this point hating the lax team is like, in my blood."

"You should try harder," she says, poking Nursey in the ribs. "Connor needs as much support as he can get, especially since I'm doing such a terrible job at it."

"You're not," says Nursey, seriously. "Really, Denice, you are not. You're defending Chad when neither he nor Whiskey are even here. And I know you've been trying so hard to give Whiskey what he needs even though it must be killing you. It's not selfish to be upset, Foxtrot."

Foxtrot shakes her head. "He deserves better. Being in love with him doesn't entitle me to being upset about this. Whiskey's just been outed to half the team, and I'm what? Having a fucking pity party because the fact he's dating a boy and not me? What kind of gross hetero bullshit..."

"Foxtrot, stop," says Nursey, cutting her off. "Don't even finish that sentence. You're not upset he's dating a boy and you know it. You're upset because he's not dating you and that's okay. It's okay to be upset that the person you like doesn't like you back, regardless of their reason for it. What's not okay is acting like they're wrong for not liking you back, and I know you've never thought that about Whiskey."

"Of course he's not wrong," says Foxtrot, with a sniffle. "I just... I want him to be happy, Nurse, but... I wanted him to be happy with me."

"He's pretty damn lucky to have a friend like you," Nursey says, pushing her hair back from her face. "And I'm sorry he doesn't see you as anything more. But it's okay. You're going to be okay."

"He deserves better," Foxtrot repeats.

"Look, as long as you make it clear that you're not judging him for not being straight, which I'm 100% sure you are, then it's all going to be okay," says Nursey. "Actually, knowing Whisk, he'd probably even appreciate it if you did give him a little bit of space. Lord knows he's not getting any from Bitty."

Foxtrot snorts. "I guess."

Nursey tightens his arm around her. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Mamita," he says, pressing a kiss into her hair. "You're doing fine."

"Thanks, Nursey," she says, wiping her eyes. "I guess you're right. It's hard, but I'll be okay."

"Of course, you will," says Nursey. "And what about our good mate, Tango? Why does he suck? He's not dating a Lax bro too, is he?"

"No," Foxtrot laughs. "He's not, but he's... uh, he told me the other day that he, uh..."

She trails off, trying to pick her words right. As far as she knows, Tango's not out as pansexual to any of the boys - although, it's fully possible that he came out to them before she joined the team and no one's mentioned it. But even if he has already come out, she has no right to tell Nursey about how Tango feels about Whiskey; about how she had to comfort one of the boys she loved, because he loved the other boy she loved and said other boy didn't love him back.

"I mean, it's kind of the same thing," she says. "Tony, he uh, came to my room the other day and told me the person he likes is in a relationship now. He was pretty upset about it and... I'm just being selfish about this too."

"You're not being selfish," Nursey says, immediately. It's as if it's a reflex. "And also, him being liking someone else doesn't necessarily exclude him from liking you. You should know that more than anyone."

"You haven't heard him talk about it," Foxtrot sighs. "He's so in love with this person. He talks like it's the end of the world that he's not dating them. He wouldn't talk like that if he liked someone else too, especially not to the someone else he likes. So therefore he doesn't like me."

Her eyes are tearing again. She's known for over a week that Tango doesn't like her back, but it still fucking hurts. Nursey tightens his arm around her.

"You see that's some solid logic, but you're forgetting one thing," Nursey says. "Tony Tangredi has never done a logical thing in his life."

Foxtrot huffs out a laugh in spite of herself. "Nurse," she says, exasperatedly.

"Well it's true," Nursey defends. "But for the record, I'm really sorry. It must really suck to have to listen to the person you like talk about someone else like that."

"It does," says Foxtrot. "And I can't even give him the right emotional support that he needs because I'm being selfish. He really likes this person, Nurse. He told me that he actually thought they were on the same page about this, that they had some... 'unspoken agreement' to wait for each other. He was crushed to realise they didn't."

Nursey's quiet for a moment, which is honestly really uncharacteristic of him. Foxtrot's only known Nursey two other times in their short, if kinda intense, friendship; when Coach hall drove them back from the hospital after Nursey broke his hand, and the night Dex moved into the basement.

"Okay, so I know you're probably trying to keep Tango's secrets for him, so I won't ask you to confirm or deny what I'm going to say next," Nursey says. "But, for the record, I'm going to spend the rest of the conversation assuming the person he likes is Whiskey."

Foxtrot frowns. She thinks that confirming Nursey's suspicions would still count as outing Tango, regardless of how confident Nursey seems to be about them. Nursey really does seem to know everyone's crushes, doesn't he? She wonders how Nursey is so good at working out other people's feelings, especially when he spends so much time hiding his own under layer after layer of fake chill.

"What makes you say that?" she asks, unable to stop herself, pulling away from him so she can see his face.

Nursey shrugs. "I don't know," he says. "It's hard to explain, it's just that... the unspoken agreement thing? I kind of felt it between Whiskey and Tango too. Like, since they were freshman, they were always, I don't know... It's kind of like the thing with Rans and Holtz? Like the two of them were always just each other's person. Best friends, but always on the precipice of falling into something more."

Foxtrot gapes at Nursey. Nursey could have saved her months of useless crushing on Tony if he'd just fucking told her. Hell, even if it wasn't true about Connor, Nursey could have saved her months of hopeless pining after him as well. Foxtrot feels tears pricking at her eyes and turns her head, horrified and embarrassed that she'd been too oblivious to realise how dumb she was being.

"First of all, 'precipice' is a dumb fucking word, Nursey," she says, trying to conceal her tears.

"Hey, hey, hey," says Nursey, reaching out to tilt her head back towards him. "You became a part of their Thing the second you showed up, Foxy. I honestly thought they both liked you too."

"They don't!" Foxtrot says, a little desperately. She's crying now, but she has no idea how to stop. "They don't. If Whiskey liked either of us, then why is he with Chad? If Tango liked me then why is he in my room crying to me about how broken hearted he is because he can't date the person he actually likes?"

"I don't know," says Nursey. He leans forward until he can rest his forehead on hers. "It's Tango and Whiskey. Why do they do any of the things they do?"

"Because they're so fucking stupid," she whines. And then immediately feels guilty. Whiskey and Tango don't owe her anything. They're not stupid just because they don't like her back. "No, they're not. I'm the one that's so fucking stupid."

"You're not," Nursey says, pulling back and entangling their fingers together. "I promise. It's not stupid to have feelings, even if those feelings are unreturned. I'm sorry Whiskey and Tango are interested in other people, and I'm sorry you have to help them with their own feelings when it's hurting you so much. You're a really good friend, and you're not selfish at all, and you are definitely not stupid, okay?"

"I just feel like I need to be doing more for them," she laments. "I want them both to be happy, even if it's not with me."

"I'm sure you're doing plenty for them," says Nursey. "Even though they may not have romantic feelings for you, the fact they're both looking to you for guidance means that they both love and trust you a lot. And, umm... that's not nothing."

Foxtrot thinks of Nursey a few weeks ago, sitting at the one desk Dex left in their room, staring at the bottom bunk as if he could make his defense partner materialise there if he tried hard enough.

It's definitely not the worst thing, to just be friends with Tony Tangredi and Connor Whisk, she thinks.

She also thinks that she definitely needs to have a conversation with Nursey about whether or not Dex is a thing. Because Derek Malik Nurse has no business loving someone who treats him the way Dex does.

"It's not nothing," she agrees, squeezing his hand.

"In time, you're going to get over this," Nursey says. "You're going to find some amazing people; people who absolutely adore you. You're going to be so happy, that you're going to wonder how you ever felt this sad."

Foxtrot smiles. "You're such a fucking poet, Nurse," she says.

"Just telling the truth," Nursey says. "You'll get through this. Tango and Whiskey will too. Just focus on doing as much for them as you can right now, and making sure they both know you love and support them. The rest will work itself out in time."

Foxtrot nods. She feels better. It still sucks that neither of the boys she loves likes her back, and she still feels bad that she can't help them as much as she'd like to, but there's relief in having someone else know her pain, and for having her feelings and worth validated.

"You're right, Der," she whispers. "Of course you're right."

"Of course I'm right," Nursey parrots. Foxtrot rolls her eyes. "and look after yourself too, okay? You can talk to me whenever it gets to be too much for you to deal with alone, alright? It's seemed to help you tonight, and I promise that I'm only platonically in love with you, so you won't be pulling a Tango if you come and vent to me."

Foxtrot smiles. Nursey really is ridiculous.

She loves him so much.

"I can't just come here and vent to you whenever I'm sad," Foxtrot protests, softly. "That's not fair to you."

Nursey shrugs. "You'd do the same for me," he says, pulling her into his chest again. "Besides, isn't that what friends are for? To celebrate your good times and offer takeout and movies and a really comfortable top bunk to sleep in during your bad times?"

Foxtrot chuckles. "Are you just trying to get a sleepover out of me tonight, Mr. Nurse?" she asks.

"I am always 100% down for a NurseFox sleepover," Nursey says. "You know this."

"I do," Foxtrot says. "And I'm happy to stay on one condition."

"Is the condition that we need to buy takeout from that weird organic Japanese place you like?" says Nursey. "Because, you know Yasaka is way better."

Foxtrot considers this. Yasaka is fine, but she loves the organic Japanese place and she hasn't been in months since Lardo is the only person who will ever take her. She reckons she can guilt Nursey into taking her, since she's been drowning in feelings all night.

"Two conditions, then," she amends. "The first is that we buy some delicious organic Japanese."

Nursey groans, but Foxtrot knows that it's all for show. "Fine, we can get your substandard food," he says, grinning. "What's the second condition?"

"Can I stay down here with you tonight instead of taking the top bunk?" Foxtrot asks.

"Ayy, Foxy, of course," says Nursey. He leans in and kisses her forehead again. "I've got your back."

"I know you do, Nursey," Foxtrot replies, with a smile. "Thank you."

**Author's Note:**

> Whiskey. Connor. Light of my life. I love you, and I want to be happy for you and Chad but I've been shipping WTF since Foxtrot yelled her way into this comic and you've just gotta date them, baby. I'm sorry, but I don't make the rules.
> 
>  
> 
> [Also! This is (kind of) a follow up to my story Broken; in which Foxtrot comforts Nursey about his broken arm. I like that story a lot, so maybe please go read it too? And maybe leave a comment there, and here, and on all my fics? Please?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17643959)
> 
>  
> 
> Big shout out to Shelly, Tori, Freezie and Jo for sensitivity reading this for me!


End file.
